MARY: Since 1970, the Federal Witness
Protection Program
has relocated thousands of witnesses,
some criminal, some not,
to neighborhoods all across the country.
Every one of those individuals shares a unique attribute
distinguishing them from the rest of the general population.
And that is, somebody wants them dead.
MAN: As you know, my friend has been
quite ill.
One day, he's the picture of health,
the next, he's contracted a terminal case of pain in my ass.
So, I only pray he doesn't Iinger.
(SNIFFING) Yeah. You know what?
I'm not a doctor,
but it sounds to me Iike your friend, he could be gone
by the end of the week.
Do you mind holding this for me, please? Thanks.
(SIGHING)
(GROANS)
So, uh, anyway...
Uh-huh. ...your boss,
Lola, right?
(MONITOR BEEPING)
Uh, Lola's not... Yeah, not my boss.
She's my client. I negotiate all
of her...
AII of her deals for her.
Sure.
(WHEEZING)
Could I meet her? Oh, absolutely.
Absolutely.
But, uh, be the...
(INHALING)
...Iast person you ever meet.
(SIGHS)
(SNIFFING)
(SIGHS) Okay. So I will meet you
here on Tuesday
after your friend passes for the rest.
Uh, same time.
Hey. Don't you want to count it?
Why? If it's short, your friend Iives
and you don't.
(SIRENS WAILING)
FBI, smart ass.
(GROANS)
Half caf, triple cap,
heavy foam.
Who died? What?
Can't one co-worker treat another co-worker
to a complicated coffee beverage?
Not when that person is you. You are not a treater.
It's not a criticism, just an observation.
Fair enough. Give me 3.50.
You didn't tip?
They pour coffee, they're not waiters.
Inspectors. Let's go.
Coming, darling. Be there
in a minute.
It's a triple macchiato for Stan. Get four bucks.
MARY: 'Dear Mr. Mann, in light of your impressive law
enforcement background,
'we'd be honored to have you join the Peterson team
'as we mentioned in your interview.'
So, the guy you're transporting is Horst Vanderhof.
Works for a high-priced contract killer named Lola.
As what? Her pool boy? Butler? Bullet holder?
(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY)
Apparently, he negotiates her contracts, collects
fees, etcetera.
So, anyway,
this Lola has a couple dozen bodies to her credit,
including two judges. And up until now,
she's been a ghost.
And this guy Vanderhof may be the only person
alive that can ID her.
So, needless to say, the Feds are pretty anxious
to find out what he knows.
It says he's from New York. How'd he wind up in Perryville?
Well, the FBI popped him negotiating a hit
on a Ruidoso businessman.
The deal went down five miles from the prison,
so it just made sense.
So, he ID's this Lola in exchange for Witness Protection?
That seems to be the plan. Sounds pretty
straightforward.
When do they need him here?
Agents are coming down from Santa Fe sometime after 6:00,
so say 7::00.
But give yourselves plenty of time.
A guy got killed at the prison yesterday.
Totally unrelated, but still,
security is tight.
Fine.
What's with the mood?
I have no idea.
Oh, wait. She wanted me to get four bucks for
the coffee.
Oh. Well, that's...
I'II tell you what. Give her five.
She Iikes when she comes out ahead.
Hey.
Okay, obviously you want me to go on a fishing expedition
to figure out what the hell is bothering you.
But I'm not going to play that. So, when you decide
to tell me what's wrong, you just tell me.
Fair enough? Fair enough?
Don't worry about it. In a couple
of months,
we won't even be working together.
GUARD: Opening two! CIear! You read my Ietter.
(DOOR BUZZING)
Easy there, meat and potatoes.
(GRUNTS) I'm a valuable Federal resource.
(GROANS)
Horst Vanderhof for transport.
Thanks.
Oh, great.
Two more minimum-wage geniuses.
Are the Feds trying to get me killed?
Do you people have any idea who Lola is?
Hey, watch it there, pervoid. I don't
swing that way.
I can't believe you read my mail.
Well, you don't know I always read your mail.
He's diabetic? Type 1.
Last page of the medical.
Yeah, that's my personal stuff.
Get a number. I did. Twenty
minutes ago.
Test again. I need to know you're fit to travel.
She needs to know everything about everybody.
I can tell. She's been undressing me with her eyes
ever since I walked out here.
Yeah, because pasty accountant types really get me crazy.
Oh, now, that's just unkind.
So, were you ever going to tell me?
Or was the plan just to Iet me figure it out
when you stopped showing up for work?
Actually, I was going to write a Ietter
and then mail it to myself.
That way, I'd be sure you got the news.
(BLOOD SUGAR MONITOR BEEPING) Hmm.
Staying alive at 105.
You know, please don't act Iike you're the injured party here, okay?
At Ieast show me that much respect.
Respect? When have you ever shown me respect?
Or anyone else for that matter?
(SIGHS) This is fun.
Maybe you'd get respect if you ever actually did something to earn it.
And you wonder why I didn't share my future plans with you.
No. What I wonder is why I put up with your
insipid running commentary for the past three years.
Come on. Let's go.
(STAMMERING)
3-to-1, I'm dead before
we get to the car.
Yeah, brains blown out all over the parking Iot.
And then the two most annoying people on the planet
bickering over my Iifeless corpse.
Relax, Horst. No one knows
who you are,
where you are, or where you're
going.
Give me the keys. I'm driving.
Try not to drive Iike you stole it.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Yeah?
Bye, sweetie. I'm off to work.
Love you.
Okay.
Do you want me to drive you around?
And Ieave you in a hot car while I hock concealers?
(SCOFFS) What kind of a mother would I be?
The same kind you've always been.
JINX: Heard that. Don't stay in bed
all day.
(MOANING)
We have a scheduled stop in about 45 minutes.
Well, I need to go wee-wee right now.
Hey, hold it in or hang it out the window
'cause we're not stopping.
You know, your job transfer
is really starting to make sense to me.
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
Water, juice. Anything else?
MARSHALL: I'II get my own, thanks.
I wasn't talking to you.
(GRUNTING) Hey, organic.
Can you see if they have organic?
It's a gas station, numbnuts.
Hey, how about these cuffs?
No can do. How am I supposed
to wipe?
You said you had to pee.
Yeah, well, I Iike to keep
my options open.
Either way, no can do.
(WHEEZING)
It's all yours, chief.
You're too kind.
(GRUNTS)
Oh, come on. You're kidding me.
It's how we roll.
(SIGHING) Yet another indignity
suffered at the hands of the man. Boy!
And that boss of yours, she's a piece of
work, isn't she?
She's not my boss, we're equals.
Yeah. Right.
I mean, it's none of my business,
but how do you put up with that, huh?
You're right, it's none of
your business.
HORST: I mean, admit it. She is one of
the angriest,
most controlling, most toxic women I've ever
encountered,
and I work for a female assassin.
(HORST SIGHING)
Uh-oh.
No worries. I got it.
Here you go, honey.
Thanks.
Have a great day. You, too.
(HORST GRUNTS)
(TOILET FLUSHING)
HORST: Trust me, my friend,
men pay good money to get rid of a woman Iike that.
Hey, you know, I hate to have
to ask,
but these cuffs are making it kind of difficult.
Do you think you could help me out with my zipper?
(GRUNTS)
Oh. Isn't this awkward.
I was going to tell you. Really? When?
I just wanted to... I should probably
check in with Stan.
Don't bother. Those mountains
are full of iron.
Wreaks havoc with the radio signals.
(PHONE BEEPING) God damn it.
It's no big deal. We're right on
schedule.
No. Look at the dash.
(ALARM BEEPING) Oh, boy.
Better pull over before the engine seizes.
HORST: Oh, fabulous.
So I get to spend even more time with my new
favorite couple.
Oh, my God.
(LAUGHING)
(DIALING CELL PHONE)
(RINGING)
Hi, precious.
Hey. What are you doing, bruin?
(SIGHING)
You know, just schlepping my wares in this God-awful heat.
Oh. Poor baby. You must be
miserable.
You know, work is work.
And I made a commitment to this thing.
Oh, and I am so proud of you
for keeping that commitment.
Oh, thank you, sweetie.
(WHISPERING) I'm talking to my daughter.
Uh-huh. Can I get you something, miss?
Sure. I'II have what she's having.
(GASPS)
Hello, Mommy.
Brandi.
What are you doing here?
Don't you think that's a better question for you?
(SIGHS)
MARSHALL: Pop the hood. I'II take a Iook.
My God.
(EXHALING)
(MARY SIGHING)
(ENGINE HISSING)
You see anything?
Hang on. It's complicated
under here.
(DRIPPING)
We've got company! Get on the floor, Horst.
What did you say?
MARY: Marshall!
(MARSHALL GROANS)
(GRUNTING)
Marshall, take cover!
Well, that was...
Marshall.
Marshall. Marshall.
Oh, my God. Can you hear me?
(GROANS)
I must have bumped my head.
Yeah, that's what happened. And then you fell on
a bullet.
Huh?
Doofus, you got shot.
Oh, crap.
(PHONE BEEPING)
Nothing. It's the hills.
No, don't anybody worry about me,
the guy you're supposed to be protecting.
Wait, I'm gonna kill him. Shut up and get
back in the car!
Here. Hold this on your wound.
He's... He's right.
It's my fault.
Back at the rest stop.
She dropped a bottle under the car.
I watched him take it out, but he must have
smeared some kind of acid on the radiator hose.
I Iooked, but I didn't
see anything.
Okay. Come on. We've got to try
to get you up.
We've got to get you to the hospital.
You're mad, aren't you?
Not as mad as I'd be
if I was the one who got shot.
I respect your honesty.
(GRUNTS)
MARY: Where the hell is that gas station?
(ENGINE STALLING)
Damn it.
Come on. Come on!
It's okay. It's okay.
In about four hours,
every cop in the universe will be Iooking for us.
Yeah, but can you hang on that Iong?
I'm breathing and I haven't bled out,
which means no vital organs have been hit.
So, yeah. Maybe.
But this car's about to turn into a pizza oven.
We should find some shade. Yes. Okay.
HORST: You know what? Speaking of pizza,
I am so hungry.
Do you guys have anything? Chips? Anything, really.
Hmm?
What am I, your pack mule?
Listen. We'II take it slowly.
Get the tube that connects to the windshield wiper fluid.
Okay. Why?
We're going to need it.
...and it shouldn't take that Iong to come up with the truth.
(SIGHS) Fine, fine, fine. You remember Dan?
Dan, the one-eyed freak?
Reeked of cigars and OId Spice? Tough to forget.
His dog ate my samples.
A dog?
Yes.
Ate your samples?
Oh, Jesus. I actually
believe you.
Mary doesn't know yet.
I still owe her $2500.
What am I going to do?
Oh, my God. Oh, she is going to
fry your ass.
Maybe I should just tell her.
Are you nuts? No.
AII right, that is the Iast thing that you should do.
First, she'II kill you, and then she'II
kick you out,
and you'II probably wind up Iiving with me and Chuck. No.
No, no, no.
Okay, we must
never tell Mary.
(SIGHING)
That was Lola, wasn't it?
What do you think, genius?
Can you stand by yourself? I think so.
Good.
Thank you.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
You're way past the point of cracking wise, Iittle man.
I'm trying to save your miserable Iife,
so answer my goddamn questions before I get angry,
you festering pustule.
(GRUNTING) AII right. Look, I don't know
if that was Lola.
I've never actually met her.
What? You told the Feds you could ID her.
No. I said I could deliver her.
We always conducted our business on the phone.
Now, would you please get off of me?
You're not exactly petite, you know.
(GRUNTS) (GROANS) Oh, God!
MARY: What do you think?
I think if that was Lola,
she knows this is her only shot at Mr. Personality
before he talks to the Feds.
In other words, she's coming back.
(IMITATING SINISTER MUSIC)
That's pretty funny for a guy with a sucking chest wound.
I know.
(GROANING)
(SIGHING)
Oh, sweet.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
Come on, Mom. Quit crying
and think.
I am thinking.
I'm thinking about how screwed I am.
Oh.
What about a cash advance on a credit card?
Maxed out. AII of them.
(SIGHING)
AII right, just Iet me think.
Sir? MAN: What?
How much would you pay to sleep with my mother?
Brandi!
What? Mom, you've got to be willing to think
outside the box.
Oh, wait.
That's it. Your box.
(GASPS)
You mean... You mean my
box of memories?
(GASPS)
Desperate times call for
desperate people to do something desperate
or something.
Absolutely not.
You have to.
No. I would rather die.
(GUNSHOTS)
(GRUNTS)
(LAUGHS) Oh, this...
Yeah, this place is going to do wonders for my allergies. Thanks.
(HORST WHEEZING)
You.
Okay. AII right. Oh, come on.
(GROANING)
(SIGHS) There are going to be Iawsuits aplenty,
trust me on that.
Shut up.
(LAUGHING) Oh, geez.
Uh-oh.
How we doing?
Tension pneumothorax.
Oh, that's funny. I was just going to say that.
Tube thoracostomy.
Marshall, if I'm going to help you,
you need to speak English.
Get the tube from the car.
Right. Right. Okay.
Okay. Now, what? Marshall. Marshall.
Marshall? Marshall, wake up and tell me
what to do.
Marshall!
(COUGHING)
Marshall. Marshall. Okay, Marshall,
tell me.
Insert tube through bullet wound.
Second intercostal.
What?
Put the tube in the hole.
Okay. Okay.
I hope you know what you're doing.
(AIR ESCAPING TUBE)
Oh, I'II be damned.
Better.
Hand me a half-empty water bottle.
Okay.
Here you go.
(WATER BUBBLING)
Amazing.
It's a water seal.
Gravity and hydraulic pressure
allow air in the pleural space to escape,
but not to go back in.
What?
Relationships end, Brandi,
jewelry is forever.
(SIGHING)
Does Chuck buy you jewelry?
(LAUGHING)
Yeah, right.
Well, he should.
(SIGHS)
Jewelry reminds a woman that she's
beautiful and cherished and Ioved.
Sometimes we forget these things.
Come on.
I can give you 200.
200,000? What?
That's very funny. No.
$200 for the Iot.
Including the box.
What? What?
Is... Is this a joke?
No, it's actually quite generous.
Oh, my. You don't know.
Know what?
These jewels are all paste. They're fakes.
You're wrong. That's impossible.
I'm so sorry. I...
I don't understand.
You should go. You should shut up.
I'm not Ieaving you and a witness Iike sitting ducks.
Take him with you.
It's only a couple miles to the highway.
It's not going to happen. Forget it.
Come on. You know it's
the right call.
(COUGHS)
I could go a Iot faster without him.
Hey. You. No secrets.
You can't Ieave him with me. I can't protect him.
Why... Why are you Iooking at me Iike that?
You better not die.
I will try not to die. For you.
(GRUNTING)
Stay. Okay, Iook.
This is for emergencies only.
If anyone comes back, you play dead. Understand?
Do I Iook Iike a hero to you?
I'II be back.
Let's go.
I need my medical bag.
(SIGHS)
Oh, here. Are you sure this
is a good idea?
No. Actually, it's a terrible idea. Ow!
But what do you expect? It came from him.
Change of plans.
(STAMMERING) What? Sit.
(EXCLAIMING IN PAIN) Sit!
Our friends are back.
(CAR DOORS CLOSING)
(ALL MURMURING)
AII three of them.
There are three of them, now?
MARY: Check that. AII four of them.
(GPS BEEPING)
(MURMURS)
(GPS BEEPING CONTINUOUSLY)
We got 'em.
And they know we're here.
(COUGHING)
Okay, can you stand?
I think so. With a Iittle help.
Okay, come on. Are you setting
up an ambush?
If you think you can shoot.
I can shoot.
Okay. Good.
(GROANS)
Good. Easy, easy.
(BLOOD SUGAR MONITOR BEEPING) Okay.
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
Behind the bar.
What are you... What are you doing?
You've got to get me out of here.
Sorry, ace, that ship
has sailed.
What? Oh, come on.
Come on, you can't chain me up.
What if you two get killed?
Then it will be a sad day for everyone.
(GROANS)
Sit down and be quiet.
Here's the Iayout. Four-wall,
cinder-block box,
so I'II take the oblique angles on the front and
back entrances, draw fire.
Anyone in through the front sees me first.
Wait till they're all the way in, then take a shot.
I know the drill. I know you do.
What about me? Do I get a gun?
No. No.
Huh?
MARY: They're just sitting there.
Probably waiting for nightfall.
Improve their cover.
So now we wait.
HORST: You know, I saw something
Iike this once
in an old GIenn Ford movie, you know.
It did not end well.
(COUGHS) Hey.
How you doing? You hanging in?
Aces.
(COUGHS) Listen.
They used some kind of GPS to find us. I saw her use it.
Is that possible?
I don't know, but it's kind of academic at this point.
Maybe.
(EXHALING)
It will be dark soon.
You should try to get out then.
Yeah, we'II see.
Seriously. It's going to get ugly.
Look, it's a defendable position.
(COUGHS)
So, how come you didn't tell me?
Because I needed to make up my own mind.
And that's not always an option with you.
You know how you are.
I thought you Ioved this job.
I did. I do.
Well, what, then? Tell me.
Am I the reason you want to go?
Because of how I am?
No.
It has more to do with how I am.
Oh, my God.
I can't believe I'm getting the 'It's not you, it's me' speech from you.
Am I really the reason you want to Ieave the Marshal Service?
No. Not exactly.
Oh.
(EXHALES)
I wish they'd come already.
Look.
It's nothing Iike what you think.
Oh, yeah?
Then you should probably explain
because I'm pretty confused.
I know you Iove the job, and I thought you...
I thought we were friends.
We are. You're my best friend.
Jesus, Marshall.
You're Iike my only friend.
I know. And you're Iike
my only friend.
So? Sounds Iike a pretty good arrangement.
What's the problem?
The problem with us is...
PIease just tell me.
I feel Iike I'm the keeper of this
exotic animal.
And I spend my time
either protecting you from the world,
or the world from you.
And it's just...
It's just a Iot of responsibility.
I'm sorry.
But that's your job.
And you cannot quit.
Okay.
(COUGHING)
It's just a Iittle blood. Nothing to worry about.
These are for, you know, in case
I don't...
You know.
What's going on? What are you doing?
Just stay here till I get back.
Be careful.
What's she doing? Where's she going?
She's going to kill them...
(DOOR CLOSING)
...before they kill us.
(SIGHS)
Son of a bitch.
(R&B MUSIC PLAYING)
(SIGHS) It all started out so well.
And then,
so many disappointments.
(EXCLAIMS SOFTLY)
(SNIFFLING)
Seems impossible.
Odds-defying.
I mean, Iook at us.
No jobs. No money.
(LAUGHS) Not a scintilla of common sense between us.
If it weren't for Mary,
we'd be Iiving in my Mercury.
To Mary.
(SIGHS)
Yeah, keep going. It's right after that.
(SIGHING)
I think she's very unhappy.
I can't do this anymore.
I won't.
Me, neither.
I have to Iet go of my disloyal past.
I have to
kick out the ghosts.
Joe, can I have a job here?
Yeah. Sure.
(LAUGHS) Oh, thanks.
Good evening, Iadies,
and welcome to Jinx Shannon's fabulous fake jewel giveaway.
Behold the box
of false hope and phony memories. Here.
I Iike this for you. That Iooks good on you.
(EXCLAIMS)
(LAUGHS)
Well, come on. Dig in.
You all right? Yeah.
I didn't hear any gunplay. Did you chicken out?
Here's something interesting. The SUV we came in?
The front passenger side door was full of bullet holes.
Wow, what do you know? It's almost Iike there were
people shooting at us. Not us. Me.
There were no bullet holes in the back door where you were.
Not a single one. So?
So, explain to me why two shooters who obviously went to
a Iot of trouble to find and kill you,
didn't take a single shot at you.
I haven't the faintest idea.
I think you do. No.
And I think I do, too. Hmm?
Huh? Gee! Ow!
Christ! What the hell is
wrong with you?
Where is it? What are you doing?
Would you please stop feeling me up?
Where is it, Horst?
She had a tracking device that Ied straight to us.
(GROANS)
Damn.
Hey. Hey, those are my personal medical supplies,
all right?
You have no right going in there.
Is this it? Huh? Look...
Is this how they found us?
Be careful with that.
Be careful!
Oh. What do you know?
A GPS transmitter.
What? You're an electronics expert?
No, but I can read.
Oh. (STAMMERING)
I have no idea
how that got in there. Yeah, well,
just for grins,
Iet's pretend you do know, huh?
Now, we can both play this game.
Do you think this is really the best use of your time?
Humor me.
(EXCLAIMING IN PAIN)
See how this flows. Obviously, you brought
it into prison with you,
and obviously your friends used it to bust you out, as it were,
which seems to imply that you had the foresight
to plan your escape before you got arrested.
And how on God's green Earth could I do that?
Yeah, right, it doesn't
make sense.
No, it doesn't make sense.
(SIGHS)
Unless...
You a Kinks fan?
Okay. The heat is getting to you.
Maybe you should just get a drink of water.
You know...
(SINGING) I met her in a club down in old Soho
Where she drinks champagne and it tastes just like
cherry cola
(STAMMERS) Come again? I stopped Iistening
after you went crazy.
It was a hit, wasn't it?
That guy who got killed at Perryville yesterday,
that was a hit.
A brilliantly conceived and executed contract
killing.
(LAUGHS)
Oh, man.
I bet you got paid a boatload for that one, huh?
PIease explain to me what you're talking about.
At Ieast then, when I die, I'II know why.
You set yourself up to get arrested five miles
from Perryville
because you had to get Iocked up there
so you could whack that guy from Ruidoso.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, man. I've got to admit,
I really underestimated you, Horst.
(CHUCKLING)
Or should I say Lola?
AII right. So, you've gone stark raving crazy.
And you're going to get us all killed.
Well, we're going to find out pretty quick
'cause here come your buddies.
(STAMMERING) What... What are you...
What are you doing? Hey!
(GUNS COCKING)
There's no way we're Ietting you take him.
I don't want him. What are you, crazy?
Here's the deal. I give you Horst...
I mean, Lola, for the car.
Not a chance.
Fine. We'II shoot it out.
But I guarantee Mr. Personality here gets my first shot.
Just do as she says.
Good boy.
Now!
(UNCOCKING GUN)
MARY: My partner's inside.
You two. In the chorus.
Go in and get him. Carefully put him in the backseat
of the car.
Hurry up!
You two, get down in the dirt. Face down in the dirt.
Come on. Be careful. Be careful with him.
Be careful with him!
Come on.
(GROANING)
You shouldn't have shot my friend.
I've only got one friend.
(GROANS)
Down on the ground.
Stay there.
(GROANS)
Okay.
Okay. Okay. Let me go.
(EXCLAIMS)
(GROANS)
Great work, people.
Really top-notch stuff.
Now, we need to go to the road and steal another car.
Really, couldn't be happier.
And I'd really Iike to get these chains off!
(MARSHALL COUGHING)
Come on. Hang in there, Marshall.
Hang in there.
Come on.
(DIALING CELL PHONE)
STAN: Yeah, Mary. What's up?
Stan.
Stan, Marshall's been shot. Where are you?
About two miles from Route 66 and I-25.
I'll have a roadblock and an ambulance waiting.
Yep. Yep, yep, yep.
(MARSHALL COUGHING)
MAN: Lock it in. MARY: Over here, guys!
Over here!
He's in the back! MAN: Over here!
(COUGHING) Marshall, we made it.
Just hang in there, buddy. Okay? Hang in there.
Mary!
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
You okay? (SIGHS) I'm fine.
Stan, it's Marshall.
It's bad. It's really bad.
Okay. Well, you got him here alive, and they can do amazing things.
Okay? Yeah.
So, what do you want to do? Do you want to stay
with him,
or do you want to go? Let's go.
AII right.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
(CHUCKLING) Oh, no. Really?
(SIGHS)
Hello?
MARY: Hey, Horst.
Turn around.
(SIREN WAILING)
(SIGHING)
Really, Jason?
Do you think you can outrun the highway patrol
in a minivan? Hmm?
(TOY SQUEAKING) Pull over, you idiot! Pull over!
(GRUNTS IN FRUSTRATION)
I told you, you shouldn't have
shot my friend.
OFFICER: Cordon off all the way!
By the way, your fly has been down the whole time.
Hey, that Witness Protection deal.
Is that still on the table?
MARY: Nietzsche was right.
We come into this world alone and we go out of it alone.
Perhaps that explains why we spend our time here
on Earth
so infuriatingly dependent on others.
It will be okay. Marshall, he's tough.
You have no idea.
(CRYING)